Does Your Incompetence Know No Bounds?

Ok, So here is the deal. Today was awesome. I got to chill at the mall with Emmilie for 8 hours and it was so much fun. I met awesome people like Shawn, Betsy, stingy ice cream sample dude, and my absolute favorite, James Dean.

When we left for the mall, I noticed I didn't have my phone with me. No big deal, it isn't like people are trying to get a hold of me ever...sad I know, but welcome to my life. So, I was looking forward to a bitter sweet reunion with my phone when I got home. Bitter because I was sure I would find not one person tried to contact me during the 8 hours I was out, and sweet because I really like my phone.

So, I am thinking that my blessed phone is at Emmilie's apartment. But when we got back...no, no it wasn't. I was a little upset, because I wasn't planning on going back to my apartment that night and was glad because there was a thunderstorm. I realize that I have to go back to my apartment to get my phone. Obviously. I look in my bag for my keys...but guess what? They aren't there...I left those at my apartment too. No worries right? Usually at least one of my roommates is always home. ALWAYS. Whatever.

I decide to call over there first to make sure someone was home. So, I call a couple of times and there is no answer. weird. Try again...nothing. Well, maybe they just aren't answering the phone, or the phone is unplugged. I guess I will trek out in the ridiculous weather to see if anyone will answer the door.

I finally get there, and Emmilie was nice enough to let me borrow her umbrella ella ella eh eh eh. Thank you Emmilie, you are probably the reason I didn't burst into tears. Anyway, I get over there and no one is home. THE ONE NIGHT I NEED TO GET IN NO ONE IS HOME! I HAVE THE WORST LUCK IN EVERY DEPARTMENT OF LIFE! PRETTY SURE!

Whatever, I will just go talk to the security guys, they are pretty chill, and seem nice enough. I know they can get you in to your apartment. So I walk to the front entrance and tell them that I locked myself out of my apartment and ask to be let in. So this one dude he says, you have to wait until 10. OK...why? He says that the person who has the keys won't be able to let me in until then. Well fine, it is close enough to 10 no biggie.

He asks me for my apartment number and I tell him 14206(cause that is what it is) Then he asks me what my name is. Shanae Lewis, I say. He looks at the apartment list, which isn't long, because there are only four of us in there. He looks a little befuddled, and it makes me even more anxiety ridden, especially when he turns to look at me and says, hm your name isn't here.

I just look at him, with what I am sure, must have been one of the best faces I have given in my life, and say, ummm are you sure? Cause that isn't really possible. So he looks at the list again. Looks at me and says what is your full name? to which I reply, Shanae Lewis. No, he says, what is your full name. At this point, I was getting a little upset. There are only four names on the list, it isn't that hard to figure out. I said back at him a little more sternly, shanae-lewis. That is my full name. I don't have a middle name. He looks at me a little oddly again and then asks me to spell it..I wanted to hit him on the head with my umbrella ella ella...no joke. I start to spell it s-h-a-n-a-e l-e-w-i-s. OHHHH he says. Shanae Lewis!(except he pronounces lewis like lewees, with the emphasis on the last syllable...I almost screamed at him. THAT IS WHAT I SAID! and it is not lewees...it is Lewis...I am american and that name is not of spanish decent it is welsh so no it is not pronounced lewees mmmmk. Do they not check to see if you can read before you get this job? My name is pretty much phonetic, sound it out sparky...you have four FOUR names to choose from and they all are way different from each other.

Anyway, he writes my name down and asks me for a number where they can reach me so when the guy with the keys gets in, they can notify me. Are you serious? I am locked out of my apartment, I don't have a phone! which I told him, but in a not so mean way. So he looks at me and says, well you can wait outside the door... I said ok, how long is it going to take before he gets here. He said he had no idea, 20-30-40 minutes maybe. HAHAHA I am not standing outside. So he looks at me and says do you have friends you can stay with. Rude. Yes I do, but I don't know their number so you can call me. So finally I am just ready to forget the whole thing because I am really tired of this and it really did not seem to be worth it. He tells me to call him when I got to my friends place and give him the number and they would call me back. OK

So I get back to the apartment, tell Emmilie what happened, I wait for five minutes so she can stop laughing at my misfortune (it was pretty funny, and if I wasn't about ready to have a break down, I would be laughing too) So I call the security guy and give him the number and wait. I call my apartment one more time, don't get an answer and wait.

I finally get a call 10 minutes later telling me to go to my door to wait for the guy. I take the umbrella ella ella again and head off to my apartment. I get there, decide to knock on the door in case someone came home within then last ten minutes...and SURPRISE!! One of my roommates opens the door. At this point I really almost screamed. but instead I asked her (probably not in my most patient voice) how long have you been home? and she says, I don't know. And gives me a dirty look...awesome. To which I replied, I have been calling and calling and knocking on the door like crazy. To which she says, well you didn't call me. to which I said that is because I left my phone here, I was calling the apartment(our apartment phone is really loud)then she said that she was taking a nap and where was my key. I couldn't handle it, I was going to say some stuff I would probably regret if I didn't grab my stuff and go, because I am pretty sure our whole building could hear me knock on the door...actually I know they can because our walls are paper thin. I am just really glad I don't have to spend all that much time over there.

Before I went though I had to call the security guys to tell them not to send the guy with the keys. So I call and say my apartment number and my situation. He then asks me what my name was and I say Shanae Lewis, to which he says, Shayla?

COME ON!!!!!

NO!SHANAE. In my head I am thinking, MY NAME IS SHANAE. IT IS NOT THAT HARD! SHANAE, SHANAE. SAY IT WITH ME. HONESTLY, MY NAME IS SHANAE. Then he got it and said thanks and hung up.

And the absolute best part of it all...all of it was my fault. ALL of it. My keys were actually in my bag the whole time. I thought I looked well enough, but it wasn't until I got back from my apartment and dumped out my bag that I found them. I could have saved my sanity had I just done that in the first place. I am such a square.